Nurse 3D

Movie Review: Nurse (2013)


Reviewed by: Phantomhour (Brendan Graham)

As a horror fan, I can’t help myself sometimes. I have this habit of seeing pretty much every horror movie, no matter how gruesome, or disturbing, and what have you. I saw the trailer for Nurse, and I immediately knew what I was getting into….but I went ahead anyways.

By day Abby Russell (Paz de La Huerta) is a dedicated nurse, someone you wouldn’t hesitate to trust your life with. But by night, her real work begins…using her smoldering sexuality she lures cheating men to their brutal deaths and exposes them for who they really are. When a younger nurse starts to suspect Abby’s actions and compromises her master plan, Abby must find a way to outsmart her long enough to bring the cheater you’d least expect to justice.

Nurse 3DWhat Worked:

Ever heard of the term Grindhouse? A style of film that aims to shock with explicit nudity, scenes of disturbing violence, and lots and lots of the red stuff flying everywhere. That’s just a basic explanation of this inexplicable film phenomenon. Does it apply to Nurse? Absolutely. Three words perfectly describe Nurse, Boobs, Butts and Blood. Oh yes, there is lots of all three of them. Every few minutes in fact, but that’s not why the movie is enjoyable (I prefer my women with meat on their bones, so the blood is what I enjoyed the most)

The gore is insane, in quality, and quantity. But it’s also brought to a comedic level with how absurd each killing is after the other, you start to feel like a demented human being because of how hard you’re laughing, hooting and hollering at the screen. You’ll feel like an animal, but it’s a lot of fun to watch.

nurse-3d-4984The leading lady is amusing, she tackles this ridiculous onslaught of cheese and schlock with a cold and technical precision, that I appreciated. The rest of the cast is..well decent, can’t expect them all to be gems in a movie called Nurse 3D (for the record, didn’t see it in 3D, damn you limited release movies)

What Didn’t Work:

Good lord, who ever wrote this screenplay needs to be murdered by this nurse. The dialogue is horrendous, even for a movie that’s supposed to be over the top and funny, it’s painful to hear some of the dialogue in the film. The pacing of the film tends to be stop and go, and the movie starts to feel a little long, it almost overstays it’s welcome.

A few times throughout the film, they lose the humor, and then it confused me. Is it supposed to be serious now? Or is it just not funny anymore? This happened a few times to me, and maybe it’s not meant to be that funny and I’m just a psychopath, that might be it.

Final Score:

mediocreIt’s a lot better than I was expecting, but still in no right mind can I give it a higher score, even though it was a pretty fun movie to watch. Be warned that this movie is pretty out there, but if you can think you can stomach it, grab some drinks and some friends and give it a shot. 5.5 out of 10.

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